Understandings...

As I have continued in my search to understand masculinity, I've come to realize that people who come to have natural control don't need to create it artificially.  To those who have natural control, control isn't an objective.  It's just a part of life, like the color blue is part of a beautiful tapestry.  They don't have to look for people or things to control, they influence people, things, and the environment without really making it a conscious effort.

Control and influence are a part of man's nature.  Men who haven't discovered natural control crave the control they don't have.  Some men have found that creating artificial control appeals to that craving.  That artificial control becomes a conscious objective for them because they crave it and don't have it.

So if you find a man who is consciously pursuing control, chances are he doesn't have it.  The man who has natural control doesn't need to pursue it; it flows to him because it is natural for him.

Looking for someone who will obey you is an effort to create artificial control.  Discovering that someone is obeying you is natural control.

I just saw the film Twelve Thirty.  It was a very weird film—it didn't follow the Hollywood formula at all, and I didn't really understand where the movie was going... until I heard the song playing during the credits (Shape Shifter by Keri Noble—play here: Shape Shifter ).  It's a film about how different real women (who are complex) are from the unnaturally ideal woman (who is simple) sought by some men.  The characters in the film were portrayed so complex that the complexity became their only character trait, and so the characters became shallow, but that's part of the creator's effort to make the point.  Unfortunately, when women try to become the unnaturally ideal woman, they stop being real, and they stop being themselves.

So these men that are looking for someone to artificially control, the only ones they find who are willing to submit to them are the ones that don't have a healthy sense of self, who are willing to become what someone else wants them to be, rather realizing the incredible value that is already within them.

So the non-control (and therefore unrealized) men find the unhealthy (and therefore unrealized) women.  They both try to become something they are not.  They become Shape Shifters.  What kind of fulfillment does that relationship create?

The song describes a man seeking artificial control.

The way for these men and women to find fulfillment?  To realize that who they are is not who they think they are, and to start discovering who they really are.  You can't find what really fulfills you until you find out who you really are, until you really understand yourself.

For the man who does not know natural control, simple women are easy.  Complex women are scary.  Just ask Jeff.

I Did Not Know Myself

Because I am still not clear on what is going on myself, this post is unapologetically scattered and written more in a stream-of-consciousness style than with any particular strategy.  Enjoy the mess.

The past two weeks have been riddled with emotional upheaval.  I wrote recently about my search for a Torvaldsland Experience, my quest to become a Gorean Man.   The search hasn’t been an idle one, and a short while ago I came across a little piece of work called No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Robert A. Glover.  Listening to the audiobook has been like traversing an emotional mine field; I was thrown into a hall-of-mirrors maelstrom as I came to see myself, my soul, my persona, my psyche, my personal id, ego, and superego in raw and painful new ways.

Listening to the audiobook had a profound effect on me.  Like someone peering into a long forgotten, musty old attic, the journey uncovered things in my soul that I had no idea were there, but were immediately recognizable once they were brought into the light of day.

In various places throughout the Gorean chronicles, John Norman laments the negative and corrosive effects that society’s effeminate training of men has had on individuals and on society as a whole.  In No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Robert Glover (completely unaware of anything to do with Gor, I’m sure) delves briefly into this trend, explaining concisely what aspects of society have contributed to the change in how boys are brought up to be men.

More importantly, Dr. Robert Glover explains the impact of self-deception and self-destruction this trend has had on the masculine psyche and ultimately, how to move beyond the destructive training.

I have heard a lot of people talk about how a master is not made, he is born.  I have always felt that this wasn’t accurate, that almost all men are masculine by nature.  I have always felt that, in general, every man has a masculine soul, and that if he found a way to uncover and encourage it, he could realize that mastery of his own life.  But the whole process of gaining that mastery was quite nebulous.  This work has clarified quite a bit of the process for me.

This book did not show me what it is to be a man.  As I was digging through my frustration with that fact, I came to realize that this is a good thing.  Each man is an individual, with unique characteristics and qualities.  What it did explain is what man is not.  Once I have removed everything from me that man is not, everything that is holding me back from being a man, I am left with the freedom to be myself.  To be the man that I am.  For I am a Man.

When I was a boy, I was a Mr. Nice Guy poster child.  I did not know myself.  By the time I discovered Gor 15 years ago, I had made some steps forward out of the illusion that being a Nice Guy was a good thing.  But I was still mostly blind.

My first contact with the brusque men of the #Silk&Steel channel on DALnet resonated strongly within me.  For the first time in my life, I felt the raw edge of confident masculinity.  I wanted to be like these men.  I wanted to be with these men.  So I started hanging around the place, learning what it meant to be a man.  I have continued that roller-coaster journey with varying degrees of intensity since then.

With the soul-stirring discoveries I’ve made as I’ve experienced No More Mr. Nice Guy, I have decided it’s finally time to step away from Gor and the whole master/slave dynamic.  Gor has a very particular flavor of masculinity; my understanding of my own nature is critical enough to me that I want my discoveries to be unbiased by artificially constructed paradigms.  And as close as the Gorean philosophy may be to human nature, it remains an artificially constructed paradigm.

I want to find my true self.  Once I really find myself, I may be back.  There may be a place for Gor in my life at that time.  Then again, there may not.  Until then, farewell.

Penned by

Jennen

The Shriveled Belly Part II: The Uncollared Slave

This is one part of a several-part piece written to help women understand what to expect as slaves.

The Uncollared Slave:  The key thing to remember here is that you have not surrendered.  Until you have surrendered and taken a collar you do not have the priviledge of abandoning your judgement when you interact with a man.  You are responsible and accountable for your own well-being.  The man does not take on that responsibility until you surrender, until you take on his collar.

There are a wide variety of men that engage slaves, online and off, in and outside of Gor.  Among these men, even among the noble men of Gor, there are those that would be healthy for you to surrender to, and those that would be unhealthy for you to surrender to.  Part of that is a function of who you are, and part of it is a function of who they are.  One woman might thrive and flourish under a man who humiliates her; another would absolutely be destroyed.  It is up to you, and no one else, to discover whether serving a particular man is fulfilling, healthy, and joyful for you.

As an uncollared slave it is your right to refuse, to say "No" at any time.  You have not surrendered your will to a man's collar, and cannot abdicate that right until you do so.  When a man instructs you to do something that you feel would be a negative experience for you, you must think about what that would do to you, and whether it would be healthy for you to continue serving this man.

You may choose to acquiesce (in fact you will likely do so), to obey to see where this instruction takes you, but your alarm bells should be ringing and you should be very sensitive to how the relationship develops.  You may find, when you have completed the questionable instruction, that you have discovered a new part of yourself, a deeper, more lovely part of you that lay dormant before.  If this is your experience, then you may find a deeper trust in this man.

Or you may find that the experience has distanced you from your belly, that you feel less of a woman, less of a slave, that your emotions are dulled or that your life has become more stressful.  These signals are definitely red flags that should be heeded when evaluating service under a man.  These should also be red flags for the man you serve as an uncollared woman (unless the man is one who enjoys destroying women, in which case they would be green flags).

It is your responsibility to voice your experience of obeying his instruction.  An experienced, responsible man will make an effort to learn whether something works for you or not.  He will want to know how to keep you healthy.  Regardless, if you don't tell him what you are feeling, he can't respond to it, and it will be harder for you to discover whether he is healthy for you or not.    Don't expect him to apologize if the experience was negative for you.  Do watch to see whether he shifts his expectations of you to take this into account.

The fact that you have the right to say "No" doesn't mean that you should respond that way to every instruction you feel less than excited about (although there may be men that you decide to completely refuse interaction with, because of their destructive influence on you).  In fact, one would hope that your refusals would be very rare.  A man, even one who wants you to be healthy, wants to know that he is your first priority, that you are willing to sacrifice on his behalf.  He wants to know that you are willing to do something that is difficult for you in order to please him, that your desire to please, to please him specifically, is deep and abiding.*

Beyond the need to please a particular man, I would hope that in your nature as a slave you would be fulfilled by serving men in general, more so than refusing men in general.  And if that means every once in a while you end up with a dull man or one that just rubs you the wrong way, you serve him with a giving heart, even if he doesn't make your belly throb with lust and need.  Because that is who you are.  No, you wouldn't pursue time with him, because he's not right for you.  But in the common, everyday engagement, you'll be willing to bring him a bit of pleasure with all the others.

When you do find yourself thriving at man's feet, you'll discover that you feel safe allowing your walls to slip away.  You'll understand that the relationship moves forward at the will of the man you serve, and you will be willing to allow him to put you where he wants to.  You'll be surprised that some particular part of your life matters to him, because most men don't pay attention to it.  You'll find that he's establishing boundaries, rules and guidelines to bring you closer to the woman that you and he both want you to be.  He's keeping you on task, pushing you to follow through with things that you find difficult to complete on your own.

With this man there will be times when you feel uncomfortable, because he'll be pushing on your boundaries, on those things that are holding you back from being the most you can be.  There will also be times when you are thrilled beyond belief that you are pleasing this man, when your soul is vibrating, resonating with the power of the soul of this man.  As you let down your walls, and let him deeper into your soul, these are the types of questions you'll want to be asking:

• Does my well-being matter to this man?  What about the well-being of my loved ones?
• Is this the type of man that might take me away from my home?  If so, is this the type of man that would abandon me without means to care for myself?
• What is this man like at his worst?  Will he put me into the hospital?  Will he make me mentally or emotionally unstable?  Am I scared of him?
• Is this the type of man to get involved with my finances or my employment?  If so, does he care about my financial well-being?  What about my well-being in the workplace?
• Does this man have what it takes to take care of me and my unique needs?  Does he have the resources to do so (time, money, know-how, availability), or does he arrange for my needs to be met by others if he doesn't?  Are those arrangements healthy for me?
• Do I find the rest of my life suffering when I serve this man?  Or does it thrive?  Am I a better woman to all when I serve at this man's feet?
• Has this man owned other slaves?  What was their experience of him?  

You'll want to be asking these questions, because unless you and he have some agreement restricting his control, when you take on his collar you are giving him power over all these areas.  He will have the power to make you sing, and to make you sob.  He can take you to unbelievably incredible heights of passion and joy, and he can utterly destroy you and your life.  Whether he uses it or not, you surrender this power to him when you take on his collar, so know him very well before you beg for it.

Overall, the experience of an uncollared slave serving men is similar to an intricate dance.  The master exploring the slave, the slave exploring the master; touching, sensing, drawing together, drawing apart.  The man leading if and how he chooses, the woman choosing to follow, or abandoning the dance.  And if the woman follows the man to the end of the dance, she ends on her knees, begging him, "Master, this girl begs your collar."  If he decides to take her, she surrenders herself to him, body and soul, utterly and completely.  If she has truly played her part, has danced her dance, and really knows the man that now owns her, then she glories in her collar and in him.

(Continued)

*On a side note, I have often been disappointed by a slave who displays no emotional challenge in doing something that would usually be difficult for her.  If two women really like me, and I send them both away, I get more pleasure from the one that is sad to leave me, than the one who is excited to get back to the furs and her sisters.  And if I have a woman clean my boots with her tongue, it is a deep pleasure to have her do it willingly and with joy; it is also a deep pleasure to have her do it even though it really grosses her out, because she wants to please me.

The Shriveled Belly

Time and again, I've come across women who are struggling as slaves.  Some struggle with feeling lost, unfulfilled, dull, and listless, despite the steel around their neck.  Others are wounded—burned, because in seeking for a collar, they followed a man down a path that really, really hurt them.  And a few are feeling disillusioned, wondering if Gor isn't all it's cracked up to be, wondering if all that comes from Gor is pain and heartache.

As I've listened to these women share their stories, it's become more and more clear to me that a lot of the pain is coming from unfulfilled expectations.  A woman expects a particular experience to meet her needs, to fulfill her, to bring her joy, and it doesn't.  Often she casts around for a reason and may pick one from the variety that is available to her, but what she doesn't realize is that the experience she signed up for was never designed to meet her expectations in the first place.  She was doomed for pain at the outset.  By picking that particular experience, she was unwittingly picking a space of suffering.

I really don't like suffering.

So, in the interest of vanquishing suffering and sundry other unpleasantries, here are a few words on what women should expect from various common experiences they may encounter as they move forward. (Okay, so it's more than a few words.  I've split it into several posts.  It seems I get rather verbose when I'm on the soapbox.)

Her Surrender Still Haunts Me

She was my first slave, and the last one I ever loved.

She opened my eyes to what it really meant to be a Gorean slave. Her utter surrender was intoxicating. It caught my soul; its smoky fingers slipped in and tangled themselves into the fabric of my consciousness.

---

"A man? What kind of man are you?" An uncollared slave, she scorned me when we first met. I was new to Gor, still raw and unknowing.

But she was slave, and I cared little for her scorn. I used her just the same.

Over time, her vision shifted and she came to see something that she didn't see before. Not that she knew me better, but that she knew men better. And she started loving me.

---

Her surrender still haunts me.


I was her world, her Master. Her family, her work, her health, her life; she laid it all at my feet.

---

"Master, may I yield tonight as I think of you?" She wasn't mine, yet she had already given me her body, her heat, her desire, her use, her release. It was mine to command.

---

"Master, my son refuses to go see my ex-husband." She was mine, and I talked with her 18-year-old son about what it means to be a man. He acted as a man and stood by his decision.

---

"My boyfriend and I fight all the time, Master." I forbade her to argue with her boyfriend, to raise her voice. She was slave. He ended up knocking her down the stairs. I ached because my lack of experience put her in a bad situation. She bore the brunt of my mistake, my lack of understanding that drastic change in a relationship, without communication about that change, creates fear and often anger. I've never forgotten the role of communication again.

---

"Master, may I have permission to marry my boyfriend? He proposed to me yesterday." Even this intimate, lifechanging, intensely personal moment was given to me. We talked about the kind of man he was, and whether she wanted this type of man raising her six children. She didn't marry him.

---

"You may go now." She had announced her departure without begging leave, and was being disciplined for it on her belly, at my feet. She was there for a half hour before I released her. To go pick up her kids. They waited in front of the school for her, and she waited for me without saying a word.

---

"Master, my back hurts so bad..." She was crying because of the pain; her pain meds hadn't kicked in yet. We talked about how she wasn't getting an operation because the doctor said it was risky. So she scheduled an appointment to see just how risky it was.

A short time later I released her.

I didn't hear from her again, ever. Except one brief note, a while later.

"I'm going in for my operation today."

Damn the day I sent her away.

Wearin' the Robes

What is the deal with women who get their hearts broken running to the Robes of Concealment?

I spoke with a slave today.  She had developed an attraction towards a man, and he had broken her heart.  She was determined that she wouldn't get hurt again, so she got a capitalized nick and adopted the role of a free woman.  I've seen this happen again, and again, and again.

Unfortunately, the protection that comes with the Robes of Concealment is only an illusion.  Taking the role of a free woman won't keep her or any other women from broken hearts or pain.  At the very least, she still is a woman, and she still is attracted to strong men, and they can still break her heart.

But the issue goes deeper than that.  What this slave came to realize as we talked is that there is absolutely nothing that she can do to avoid getting hurt.  Zero.  Loss is an inevitable part of life.  Conflict is an inevitable part of life.  Misunderstanding, and change, and mistakes are all an inevitable part of life.  And more often than not, these things carry with them pain.  Pain is an inevitable part of life.  It cannot be avoided.

What we can do, however, is choose to experience joy and love and passion in our lives in between and occasionally even during the pain.  We can enjoy sweetness with the bitterness.

Running away from life doesn't take the pain from us.  Our fleeing does take us away from joy.  Pain is a given, joy is a choice.

For a slave, joy and fulfillment come from living as a slave to the best of her ability.  Serving men, pleasing them, enjoying their pleasure in her.  What opportunity does a free woman have to do these things?  If anything, she must hide, must do them in secret, begging for discretion lest her dalliances be discovered.  What joy, what fulfillment is there in this?  Little, if any, and only mixed with bitterness at that.

By taking on the Robes of Concealment, this slave was unwittingly barring herself from her greatest source of joy, her slavery.  She realized this as we talked, and followed my suggestion to drop the case of her nick and go enjoy the world as she was meant to.  She was much happier as she left to go please men.




P.S.  By the way, there is a way to shift some of the pain out of a slave's relationship with men.  If she continues to serve and please many men as she becomes attracted towards one, it will season her attraction, drawing out her exposure to that man.  The more exposure she can have to a man before she begs his collar, the better she will know whether that man will be one in whose collar she can be fulfilled.  The better she knows this, the more her choices in that collar will lead to joy rather than pain.  Although the depth of each woman's surrender depends on her own nature, for each woman, "the shorter the pursuit, the shallower the collar."

How Should One Live?

Somehow, in the north, in Torvaldsland, I had changed. This I knew. There was a different Tarl Cabot than ever there had been. Once there had been a boy by this name, one with simple dreams, naive, vain, one shattered by a betrayal of his codes, the discovery of a weakness where he had thought there was only strength. That boy had died in the delta of the Vosk; in his place had come Bosk of Port Kar, ruthless and torn, but grown into his manhood; and now there was another, one whom I might, if I wished, choose to call again Tarl Cabot. I had changed. Here, with the Forkbeard, with the sea, the wind, in his hall and in battle, I had become, somehow, much different. In the north my blood had found itself, learning itself; in the north I had learned strength, and how to stand alone.

In the north I had grown strong. I suddenly realized the supreme power of the united Gorean will, not divided against itself, not weak, not crippled like the wills of Earth. I felt a surge of power, of unprecedented, unexpected joy. I had discovered what it was to be Gorean. I had discovered what it was, truly, to be male, to be a man. I was Gorean.

p439, Marauders of Gor [Gor Series Book 9]
John Norman

Nine books. It took nine books for Tarl Cabot to become a true Gorean. Four years living among Goreans (10,119-10,122 Contasta Ar) before he found himself. It took four years of living directly among them, even with Tarl's incredible capacity to learn, to discover the his true Gorean Nature.

I am taking that journey. And while I likely will not find myself in Ko-Ro-Ba or in the Sardar Mountains or in Port Kar, I am following in Tarl's footsteps. I look forward to the day of my Torvaldsland experience.

When Tarl first arrived on Gor (Tarnsman of Gor) he was taught by men who knew Gor. His father Matthew Cabot, the Scribe Torm, and the Warrior Older Tarl. These men provided Tarl with an excellent foundation of skills for, and knowledge and understanding of how to live as a Gorean Warrior. They taught him how to interact with others, what others expected of him, and how to function successfully as a Gorean in Gorean society. They trained him in the skills necessary to do so.

He continued to be taught by others in the nuances of warfare skills in their particular culture. Among the desert tribes (Tribesmen of Gor) he learned to fight with the scimitar. Here, in Torvaldsland he learned to fight with the axe.

And others taught him in the nuances of being a man, as well.  The Forkbeard teaches Tarl about being a man as they play Kaissa.

"You should not have surrendered your Ax," said Forkbeard.

"In not doing so," I said, "I would have lost the tempo, and position. Too, the Ax is regarded as less valuable in the end game."

"You play the Ax well," said Forkbeard. "What is true for many men may not be true for you. The weapons you use best perhaps you should retain."

I thought on what he had said. Kaissa is not played by mechanical puppets, but, deeply and subtly, by men, idiosyncratic men, with individual strengths and weaknesses. I recalled I had, many times, late in the game, regretted the surrender of the Ax, or its equivalent in the south, the Tarnsman, when I had simply, as I thought rationally, moved in accordance with what were reputed to be the principles of sound strategy. I knew, of course, that game context was a decisive matter in such considerations, but only now, playing Forkbeard, did I suspect that there was another context involved, that of the inclinations, capacities and dispositions of the individual player. Too, it seemed to me that the Ax, or Tarnsman, might be a valuable piece in the end game, where it is seldom found. People would be less used to defending against it in the end game; its capacity to surprise, and to be used unexpectedly, might be genuinely profitable at such a time in the game. I felt a surge of power.

pp95-96, Marauders of Gor [Gor Series Book 9]
John Norman

But Tarl didn't have a mentor, a guide for his journey of self-discovery. He made this journey into his nature on his own. He learned from other men; he listened to them, evaluated and weighed their advice, and chose to heed some and ignore others. But he had no mentor for his crusade of self-discovery. It was one he had to take on his own.

There were no maps for me.

I, Tarl Cabot, or Bosk of Port Kar, was torn between worlds.

I did not know how to live.

I was bitter.

But the Goreans have a saying, which came to me in the darkness, in the hall. "Do not ask the stones or the trees how to live; they cannot tell you; they do not have tongues; do not ask the wise man how to live, for, if he knows, he will know he cannot tell you; if you would learn how to live do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so."

I do not fully understand this saying. How, for example, can one proceed to do what one does not know how to do? The answer, I suspect, is that the Gorean belief is that one does, truly, in some way, know how to live, though one may not know that one knows. The knowledge is regarded as being somehow within one. Perhaps it is regarded as being somehow innate, or a function of instincts. I do not know. The saying may also be interpreted as encouraging one to act, to behave, to do, and then, in the acting, the doing, the behaving, to learn. These two interpretations, of course, are not incompatible. The child, one supposes, has the innate disposition, when a certain maturation level is attained, to struggle to its feet and walk, as it did to crawl, when an earlier level was attained, and yet it truly learns to crawl, and to walk, and then to run, only in the crawling, in the walking and running.

The refrain ran through my mind. "Do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so."

But how could I live, I, a cripple, huddled in the chair of a captain, in a darkened hall?

I was rich, but I envied the meanest herder of verr, the lowest peasant scattering dung in his furrows, for they could move as they pleased.

I tried to clench my left fist. But the hand did not move.

How should one live?

pp18-21, Marauders of Gor [Gor Series Book 9]
John Norman

How should one live? This question reverberates through my own soul. As for Tarl, there are no maps charting the path to my Torvaldsland Experience.  Moreover I have no father, no Scribe, no Warrior to teach me.  To train me in the understanding and the skills of living as a Gorean Builder in my day-to-day life, to teach me how to function successfully as a Gorean in society, among those unGorean people that I come in contact with.

What is left to me? To take the journey of understanding, of skills, of self-discovery on my own; and "in the acting, the doing, the behaving, to learn." The wounds and the scars and the victories will be dear instructors.

Short Visits

Here is another bit I wrote for the website of #The_Golden_Goblet, where I have been spending time as an Op.  Again, this is still personal, and has not been made official.  It reflects my personal ideal of Gorean involvement on IRC, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of the owners of the channel.

It's amazing how some people go out of their way to make sure that their visits to #The_Golden_Goblet are brief. Their behavior, their choices, their words just scream, "I don't belong here! Get me out of here!" From the amount of effort they put into earning a kick and often a ban from the channel, it would seem to be a favorite pastime. Focused as we are on making the experience as fulfilling as possible for our patrons, we've decided to put together a list to help these people get what's coming to them as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, we don't have rules for the Free that you can break. Our Ops have the latitude to kick or ban whomever they wish to, whenever they want, for whatever reason. In fact, they occasionally kick each other, just to stay in practice. However, here are some of the most effective ways to shorten your stay at #The_Golden_Goblet:

• Be fake. Make up a character that you adopt when you come onto IRC, and that you leave behind when you log off; be "online only". Have your online character make choices and do things that you would never do in real life. Kill people. Force collars on slaves. Describe yourself and your offline world in ways that aren't accurate. Say things that aren't true about yourself, your life, your history, or about other people.
• Treat Gor like a game. Trivialize the practices, the paradigms, the traditions of the people of Gor. Make snide comments about tarns and John Norman and paga serves, about what a man or a master or a slave is. Turn your connection to Gor on and off as it is convenient. Don't recognize the difference between having fun and mocking.
• Expect us to not judge you. Expect us to like you. Expect us to care, even though you're a stranger. Expect that we'll take you in, embrace you as a brother, and spill our guts to you before you've won the privilege. Expect us to change so that you aren't offended, or for your convenience. Get upset when we ignore you.
• Don't listen, don't learn. Enter into our space without taking the time to learn our traditions and expectations, or without caring about them. Talk without taking time to comprehend. Debate without taking time to consider. Tell us we're right or wrong without taking the time to understand us. Be interested solely in spending time with the slaves in the alcoves.
• Be a wimp or a coward. Don't stand behind your own opinions. Back off and even run when someone disagrees with you or attacks you or your position. Don't stand up for your beliefs. Insult people to avoid losing or even engaging. Be afraid to ask questions, to be imperfect, to have emotions. Patronize us. Be scared that we won't like you. Don't hold the slaves accountable. Be scared they won't like you. Worry about offending them. Let them manipulate you and tell you what to do, apologize to them. Be reluctant to say "No."
• Do things that make people's lives miserable. Be a pedophile, be abusive, be involved with drug abuse, be in IRC channels that promote these things. Be a gossip. Stalk people. Violate people's privacy or their online or offline boundaries.
• Be unable to communicate at an acceptable level. Don't speak English. Don't know how to use the basic functions of IRC. Likewise, don't follow the basic etiquette and protocol of IRC. Come to us to help you figure out technical problems that are disrupting the channel.

You're right. It does sounds like a lot of work. But each of these is a powerful tool that can drastically shorten your stay in #The_Golden_Goblet. Frankly, when you do these things we enjoy keeping your stay short just as much as you do. We hate it when our boots get dusty, and kicking patrons is a fun and exciting way to keep them clean. To keep the record straight, we'll usually let you know the reason when we kick you. Repeating that particular behavior when you return will almost guarantee you an even quicker exit, and possibly even earn you that treasured trophy, a ban.

Those of you who prefer a longer stay, however, will find that coming in, sitting back, listening and watching and learning will be key to prolonging your stay. If you find that the Gor we live appeals to you, spend some time reading the books. Read from the website. Ask a few questions. Start looking at your nature as a man, and how true you live to that nature. Spend some more time reading the books. Start living the things you're learning. Do this earnestly, and over time you may just possibly discover a friend or two among the patrons and Ops here.

Penned by Jennen

Real and Online

I've written the following piece for the website of a channel I've been spending time in recently as an Op on irc.bondage.com, called #The_Golden_Goblet.  It reflects my personal ideal of Gorean involvement on IRC.  As of yet it is still my personal work, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of the Owners of #The_Golden_Goblet.

When you first encounter #The_Golden_Goblet, you'll find that as a virtual Gorean paga tavern, this place is not much different from other Gorean IRC channels. The slaves here are more than eager to please and ready to be taken. If you are so inclined we have pretty much any food or drink you can imagine (although you may have to coach the newer girls with your more obscure requests). And if you're into discussion we can likely chew your ears off. But there's nothing new in that. Not many Gorean channels that would claim anything different.

What is different here is our purpose. For the patrons and Ops of #The_Golden_Goblet, the paga and the roast bosk and the dancing girls are just a part of a much larger picture. For us, the channel serves as a place to connect with real Goreans, a meeting place for hard men and soft women who have taken Gor from the page and from the screen and started living it in their lives, offline and away from the computer. And while it is definitely a place to have fun, it's also a place to talk and share and support, a place to learn and teach and mentor and study, a place to discover how to apply Gor to real life.

The men and women in this virtual paga den are very real when it comes to Gor. It's no longer just a fun thing to do on IRC; for the patrons and Ops here it has also become a guide for life. These people strive to be true to themselves, all the time. To build their lives on the foundation of concepts like "Being a Man" and "Ownership" and "Mastery". To take the concepts of Gor into their workplace, into their homes, into their hearts. These people strive to *be* Gorean Men and Women.

So, the people you find in this channel are real people. Real Goreans. The characters you see in channel are who we are offline. Take away the computers and the virtual accoutrements, the tospits and the sleen and the tarns, and you'll be left with hard men who fight to master their lives, and the women slaves who surrender to them. The choices we make in channel, are be the same choices we would make offline. And if you knew us online, you would be familiar with us offline. Because we are real.

If you choose to come among us, we'll expect you to be real, too.

Penned by Jennen 

Blurred Boundaries

Gor started on IRC back in 1995/96, with the #Silk&Steel channel on DALNet.  Modeled after a paga den, the channel was a place for those who loved Gor and lived Gorean offline to interact as if they were actually on Gor.  It was a type of fantasy role play, except these scenes were typecasted.  The men and women didn't pretend to be something else, they pretended to be themselves, on Gor.  As I understand it, they were glorious days, with swashbuckling swordfights, erotic serves, and endless romps in the furs under the watchful eye of Bear and Zeb.  The men were strong and the women were eager to please.

Within a very short period of time, however, the channel took on a new role.  People who didn't know Gor discovered the the channel and its atmosphere, and fell in love with the feelings they felt there.  The channel quickly became a place to learn how to be Gorean.  This shift drastically impacted the nature of the role play within the channel. Because people were learning from the role play, because they were forming their perceptions of what was acceptable and what was not from the activities in the channel, because they were treating it as if it were real, those who ran the channel could no longer pretend to be on Gor.  The interaction, while it was still in the cyber realm, stopped being fantasy and became real.  If it wasn't acceptable offline, it wasn't acceptable online.

With that change, the swashbuckling swordfights stopped.  For a few reasons.  On one hand, the men wouldn't kill for a trivial reason offline, so they stopped doing it online.  On the other, a cyber kill on IRC could never be the same as a real killing.  There's no real way to really make an unwilling person dead on IRC.  All they have to do is ignore you, and all of your efforts turn into blatant failures to get someone else to do what you want.  You turn into an incompetent, impotent fool.  You lose.  What Gorean, a man who breathes power and strength, would even contemplate doing something like that?

"You're dead!"

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are.  I killed you!"

"Then why am I still here?"

"You're an asshole."

"Granted.  You're a fool."

"ARRRGGGHHH!!!"

For the same reasons, these men wouldn't engage in forced collarings.  First, they wouldn't do it offline, and second, there's no way to enforce an unwilling slave into a collar online.  They didn't engage in "online only" collars, because they chose to be real, to be the same online and off.  A collar was no trivial thing to them.  A man's collar on a woman meant that she was his property, online and off, and he and other men respected that as a very real thing.  They collared women online like they did it offline.  A man developed a relationship with a woman, training her, disciplining her, taking care of her, taking pleasure from her, and that relationship deepened it until the woman knew she was owned, knew that this man was one she could be fulfilled by serving.  The woman then begged the collar because she belonged in his collar for as long as he wanted her, and she knew it.  And the man owned the woman completely; there was no change in ownership when she turned her computer off.

Despite it's abandonment by those of the #Silk&Steel, the practice of fantasy role-playing a life on Gor has continued, and has spread to other IRC servers, to other forms of text-based interaction, and to places like Second Life, where it has flourished, and where the game (for that's what fantasy role-playing is) has changed to suit the whim and will of those building the playground.  It has provided millions of hours of entertainment to hundreds of thousands of people.  That's not a bad thing.  People are just as welcome to role-play at Gorean life as they are to role play at being a knight under King Arthur, or a cowboy or an indian in the Old West.  It's pure fun.

The bad thing comes when the line between fantasy role-play and reality becomes blurred.  And unfortunately that happens quite a bit.  As I understand it, the reality of the Gorean master/slave relationship is that the man takes complete ownership of the woman, with all of the responsibility and pleasure that comes with owning a woman.  The woman surrenders all of the masculine cares of life and picks up the sole feminine burden of pleasing the man.  The man is responsible for keeping the slave physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy, and everything that comes with that, like keeping her well fed and sheltered and providing her ample opportunity to use and develop her belly.

While not all Goreans are honorable, an honorable Gorean accepts that responsibility is an integral part of any ownership and the pleasure it brings.  When a man demands the pleasure, the complete obedience and surrender, without providing the responsibility (whether in whole or in part), either he is less than an honorable man, or the lines between fantasy role-play and reality have become blurred.  If the man thinks he can "turn off" the relationship in any way and leave it behind with the computer and the internet, he has allowed the practices of fantasy role-play into his relationship.

For the Gorean man, The Buck Stops Here.  He shoulders the complete responsibility for every aspect of the slave's life.  He may delegate a portion of that responsibility to the slave, as far as it is healthy to do so, but ultimately the fulfillment of that responsibility is his burden.  If a man chooses to disown any portion of that responsibility, then he is disowning the slave to that degree.  The ownership and the responsibility are one and the same thing.

Here are some symptoms of slaves owned by men who have "turned off" their ownership in some way:

• A slave has a huge decision to make in life.  She feels like she is making the decision alone, that the burden of that decision is hers alone to bear.  Examples would be decisions about life and death.  Education.  Family relationships.  Employment.  All decisions and choices decidedly lie in the realm of the Master.  Petty ones may be delegated to the slave.  But when a slave is burdened with larger decisions and choices, especially those of this magnitude, she takes on the role of the man and her belly suffers.
• A slave is really struggling with some issue that is essential to her well-being, and she is left to fend for herself.  This would include things like physical, emotional, and mental health.  Financial balance.  Her belly and her nature as a slave and a sexual woman.  Social interaction.  One of the reasons a strong man is so desirable, so fulfilling to a woman is that she can lean on his strength.  He can be strong for her.  If a man does not use his strength, what is left for the woman?  Certainly not the thrill that comes with being collared.
• A slave can disobey or "opt out" of rules or boundaries at her whim.  Structure is a key component of the security that comes from being a slave, an integral part of the reward that comes from being pleasing.  When the structure is optional, then it is enforced by the slave, not the master.  In effect, the slave becomes the master.  This certainly does not lead to the fulfillment that comes from being a slave.
• A slave does not regularly have enough opportunity to please, or to learn to be more pleasing.  Being pleasing and desired is THE core element of the fulfillment of being a slave.  Without it, the belly of the slave dies.  She loses her femininity and becomes masculine.  A man who kills the belly of a slave and makes her less of a woman, what is he?

In my experience with IRC Gor, I have come across more problems like these in channel slaves than in any other type of slave I know of.  More than personally owned slaves, more than uncollared slaves.  Men seem to be more aware of their responsibility with personally owned slaves.  And uncollared slaves have the opportunity to seek out and serve men who are strong, who do recognize their responsibility and glory in it.  Uncollared slaves can seek to earn the collars of these men by starting the relationship of surrender and ownership.  They can prove their value, their ability to please.

Often channel slaves have the worst of both worlds.  They don't get the fulfillment that comes from surrendering their burdens of life to their owners, and they are restricted to some degree or another from fully serving and pleasing men who can and will take those burdens.

Dead Goreans

Most Goreans are aware of the types of people that form the majority of characters on Gor in the books.  There are the free and the slaves.  But there's another type that doesn't get nearly as much coverage.  However, it plays an important role in the fictional Gorean society, and I'd like to talk about it because it impacts the way we put the Gorean philosophy into practice in real life.  This last major type of character are those that are dead.


People who can't cut it on Gor in the books die.  They get killed, usually on purpose.  Slaves who can't cut it get killed.  Men who can't cut it get killed.  Free Women who can't cut it become slaves, and if they can't cut it then, they get killed.

"There were only three statuses conceivable to the Gorean mind outside of the caste system:  slave, outlaw, and Priest-King.  A man who refused to practice his livelihood... was, by definition, an outlaw and subject to impalement."

Tarnsman of Gor 1967 p46 

There are a lot of people in real life who couldn't or wouldn't cut it in the society from the books (Hell, I still wonder if I'd cut it).  In real life, they don't have to cut it.  We'd love them to, we challenge them to, we call on them to.  If they want to try, want to work on it, want to discover their Gorean nature, we train them.  But they don't have to.  We don't punish them for not trying, because they haven't done anything wrong.  They are just not Gor.

So, while we may choose to believe that a man or a woman may be more fulfilled by adopting the principles and beliefs that we love, we cannot force them to do so, and we cannot disdain them for refusing to do so.  It is their right to refuse.  They don't have to fit.

That said, we don't have to treat them as Goreans, either.  If a woman is not Gorean, we usually don't treat her as a slave.  If a man is not Gorean, we usually don't treat him as free.  We may occasionally make exceptions to this if we choose to inspire someone to look closer at their nature, or if we want to deepen our own integrity.

The impact of this understanding goes deeper than first may appear.  We already know that slaves don't have to obey other slaves, unless a slave has specifically been given authority over them, such as first girl.  Slaves do have to obey the free.  Now that we understand that there are many people out there that are not free or slave, we can accept the possibility that a slave would not obey a man, because he is not free.  She might be deferent, and conditionally obedient, because that is her nature (in fact I would hope she is, it's healthy for her to be herself as much as possible), but he does not have the mandate that a free man would have.  To the degree (and no more) that he does not behave as a free man, she can refuse him as she would refuse a slave, without breach of conscience.  He would be classified as a dead Gorean.

In fact, we see examples of slaves in the books disdaining even true Gorean men that they feel are weaker than others.  One example is near the beginning of Raiders of Gor, when Bosk gives the girls from the rence islands to the men he has freed from the ship.  One of the girls recoils when she is given to a man with a slighter build, believing him to be weaker than other men.  That is, until he holds her and she feels his strength.  Then she is more than happy to be his slave.

The kicker is this:  A slave does not have to feel torn between her mandate to obey and her need to protect herself from those that would take advantage of her surrender to her harm. She is not expected to obey a dead Gorean, any more than she would be expected to obey a slave.

We walk a fine line here.  It is unhealthy for a slave to refuse any man, because it takes her out of the depths of her surrender and puts her in some degree in the place of the free.  But surrendering as a slave to a weak man, or to one that is not free, isn't healthy either.  I will think about this more and look for a simple way to judge.

P.S.  Yes, this post smacks of elitism.  Deal with it.

Broken Pleasures

I teach my slaves that exact obedience is their number one priority.  It is more important than any other thing in their lives.  It is not only an expression of their slavery, it is the essence of their slavery.  They are to obey not only me, but all free.  They are slave, not just to me, but all free.  The reasoning for this universal obedience requires more explanation that I want to go into right now, but it has a lot to do with the integrity of the slave and her belly, and how that integrity allows her slavery to be deeper than would otherwise be possible.

This priority put me in an interesting position the other day as I was connecting with a slave.  This slave had rules that forbade her from doing certain things without permission, as most slaves do.  Because she is a hot bitch, I wanted her in a way that was contrary to the rules placed on her.  I told her as much.  Because I am a master, and she is a slave (and she is an excellent slave) I could have commanded her to break the rules, and she would have done it. She understands her position as a slave, and she is to be obedient to the free.  Doing so would have brought me quite a bit of pleasure.  And this slave REALLY wanted to bring me pleasure.

"That would be a broken pleasure," I said.

Then I thought, "What the hell does that mean?"  We both understood it, and I had other priorities than pontificating philosophy at the time, so we continued on with our connecting, keeping her within the rules she had been given.

I've wondered about that since then.  I think I understand the concept a little better, now.  A broken pleasure is one that makes me less of a man.  For me, a slave's obedience is a critical thing.  Making a slave disobey a rule to please me would have been an act against my nature.  For other men, with other expectations, it would probably be different.  If a men expected women to be shallow and catty and to willfully seek chances to disobey, keeping his own slaves in check only by coersion, then he would likely not give it a second thought to cause a slave to disobey (other than dealing with the man that owned her).  It wouldn't be a broken pleasure.  If he was  a Warrior, a broken pleasure for him might be taking a rest back at camp while his brothers are out fighting.  I personally don't have any problem resting at home while the Warriors are battling, unless my own home is under threat.

I'm not saying I don't take part in broken pleasures.  Though I haven't ever knowingly caused a slave to break her rules, I do take part in broken pleasures.  I do it with bright eyes and a bushy tail.  I'm sure I would be a better Gorean if I didn't.  As I look back however, now that I understand the concept, I find that I have always counted the cost carefully, because in doing so I'm selling my own soul.  And I don't sell my soul cheaply.

What does it mean to "Be A Man?"

I was watching a movie the other day.  It featured two high school teams playing rugby.  I was struck by the difference between the attitudes of the two teams, and how they seemed to parallel the different perceptions of what it means to be a man.  Take a look at the clip for yourself.



As I watched the clip I thought about the difference between machisimo and masculine.  Here are some of the questions that went through my head.

In one scene, Rick from Flagstaff tries to manipulate the game.  His efforts to control were centered in an attempt to get the other team to fight.  He possibly wanted to throw the odds into the favor of his own team by having the huge guy from Highland sit out for part or all of the game.  Was he successful in controlling his opponents?

Did Highland's refusal to be drawn into a fight diminuish their masculinity?  The two players assaulted by Rick responded to his manipulation in creative ways that not only denied his attempts at control, but bolstered their own position.  The one who stuffed grass up his nose illustrated a man's passion to accomplish his objective even under significant personal sacrifice.  In doing so, he was able to control the referee (at least in part), convincing him to not make a call that would make it harder for them to achieve their objective.

Being Gorean is about control.  Control of one's self and one's environment; choosing one's own path and destiny.  In this rugby match, who is in control?  Who is out of control?  Which team had control of the game?  Which team had a better understanding of what type of control is effective, and what control is not?

In this clip, Rick is the captain of the Flagstaff team.  What are his methods of control over his team?  Over the bench?  Over his father, the coach?  Do his methods of control obtain the objective of the team: a win?  Do they obtain any of the objectives he has?

Each team was molded and formed under its coach.  How do the attitudes, perceptions, and choices of these two coaches compare?  Which coach was in control over his team?  Over his life?  Over his family?

In the end, the Highland team one the match because they were stronger, they were the superior team.  Rick, at least, from the Flagstaff team, was all talk and little walk.  The Highland team was not afraid to talk the talk, but they also walked the walk.  Rick had machisimo.  The Highland team was strong, was masculine.  They were becoming men.

That said, Rick wasn't all bad.  At least he was in the fray.  Many men sit on the sidelines.

The movie is Forever Strong.  It has quite a few insights into what strength really is.

Conversations: On The Gorean Man's Focus

Here's another conversation about Gorean Men.  Again, the background activity was removed to emphasize the point of the discussion.


<+Jennen> So what is the focus of a Gorean man offline?
<+Jennen> I think about the men in the books.  In the fact that they are true to themselves, they experience a greater sense of pleasure and fulfillment than those who don't live true to themselves.
<+Jennen> But their lives aren't filled with pleasure.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> The peasant's life is a hard one.  He works hard, he works his slaves hard.
<+Jennen> But his focus is still Gorean.
<+Jennen> To me, the focus of a Gorean man is to find the role that is true to himself, and move forward in that role, within the sphere of his influence.
<+Jennen> The men enjoyed the slaves, but they were not their focus.  Their focus was to do well in their role.
<+Jennen> A Warrior did not define himself by owning slaves.  He fought, he defended, he attacked.  This is what defined who he was.  This was his focus.
<+Jennen>  A builder did not define himself by owning slaves. He defined himself by feats of design and engineering.  This was his focus.
<+Jennen> Men are happier when they master their lives, as well as their women.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Now, I turn the magnifying glass on myself.
<+Jennen> How much time do I focus on my role as a man, and how much time do I focus on my slave?  How much time do I spend becoming better at what I do, mastering my life?  How much time do I spend with other men who have the same goals and understanding, working together with them as a group so that we can support each other?
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> There's a book I read, called, "Superior Man".  It talks about having friends that believe as you do, that you can talk with, who will challenge you to take life on and be true to yourself.
<+Jennen> I think that is possible here, online.  But it would mean that we would have to share our personal lives, our challenges, our struggles, and our victories.
<+Jennen> It would mean talking about our offline roles, learning from each other, weighing and accepting or rejecting advice.
<+Jennen> A "fraternity" is another word for a "brotherhood".  Those who belong to some fraternities work to support members of their fraternity all their lives.
<+Jennen> It's a source of loyalty for them.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Yes, a get together would be fun, and I think that those who participated would definitely enjoy it.  What I'm referring to, though, is more of an ongoing thing.  Talking, sharing, examining, asking, challenging other men.
<+Jennen> Regularly.
<+Jennen> A fellowship.
<+Jennen> That's a good name.
<+Jennen> A fellowship is something I would be very interested in being a part of.

Conversations: On The Gorean Man

Here's something while I work on my next post.

Here are some excerpts from a conversation I've enjoyed.  It shows my perspective on Gor and Gorean Men.  Most of what was going on in the background was removed to show the focus of the discussion.

Kudos to Saphrar for being Saphrar.

<@Saphrar> so Jennen
* @Saphrar grins
<@Saphrar> you proposed a topic last time you were here
<@Saphrar> If I recall, it was what qualifies a slave to be Gorean, or kajira... or something to that nature
* +Jennen nods
* +Jennen thinks
<@Saphrar> now I ask
<@Saphrar> what qualifies a man to be Gorean?
* +Jennen grins
* @Saphrar thought that would entice a grin
<@Saphrar> theres always the "I read the Books so therefore I am Gorean"
<+Jennen> That would depend, Saphrar, on whether you were talking about a Gorean man, or an honorable Gorean man.  There's a big difference between the two.
<@Saphrar> theres the "I own a slave r/l so therefore I am Gorean"
<@Saphrar> alright, then consider each in its own
<@Saphrar> often a dishonourable Gorean doesnt live long, so that may be a mute point?
* +Jennen laughs
<+Jennen> A Gorean has integrity, whether he has honor or not.
<+Jennen> He is what he is, inside and out.
<+Jennen> If he is a theif, he doesn't lie to himself and say he is a warrior.
<+Jennen> thief
<+Jennen> He says, I am a thief.
* @Saphrar nods
* +Jennen thinks
<@Saphrar> in your opinion is integrity the defining ingredient in Goreanism?
<+Jennen> A Gorean also extends his impact within his sphere of influence.  He does not cower when faced with an opponent.
<+Jennen> He will face up to the challenge.  He may back off if he realizes that he will lose.  But he will not cower.  He will pay honor and respect to the man that bests him.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Lastly, a Gorean understands the relationship between men and women, and between slave and free, and behaves accordingly.
<+Jennen> A Gorean can have all these things, and be Gorean, but not have honor.
<@Saphrar> Port Kar of course is a written example
<+Jennen> Each of us chooses whom he or she will associate with.  Honorable Goreans typically choose to associate with honorable Goreans.
<@Saphrar> but... honour is still important for Goreans
<@Saphrar> I say honour is crucial for Goreans, even though it may not always exist
* +Jennen grins
<@Saphrar> it is said that a Gorean would much rather die for honour, than for gold, if I am correct?
<@Saphrar> I cant exactly recall the quote
<+Jennen> Each community has their own definition of honor.
<+Jennen> Honor to the executives of Enron would encompass just how much they could get away with.  The one who could get away with the most would hold the greatest honor among them.
* @Saphrar chuckles
* @Saphrar nods
<+Jennen> So, what is left is to define honor according to the standards I hold high, and then seek to associate with those who also hold that honor dear.
<+Jennen> Who have the same definition that I do.
* @Saphrar nods listening
<+Jennen> In the Books, that honor was well defined.
<+Jennen> An honorable Gorean is:
<+Jennen> loyal to Home Stone, to family, to caste.
<+Jennen> Honest and open, allowing for customary bribes and such.
<+Jennen> He follows through with his word, to the very best of his ability.
* @Saphrar nods
<+Jennen> He takes care of that which he calls his own.  His family, his property, etc.
<+Jennen> He is concerned with doing his job well.  Much more concerned with that than maximizing his income.
<+Jennen> Do you think we missed anything, Saphrar?
<@Saphrar> I think its something that can be debated for hours
<@Saphrar> Norman spent what, 26 novels trying to define it
<+Jennen> I don't know that I agree with that claim, Saphrar.
<+Jennen> I think it was pretty simple to him, and he wrote the books that way.
<@Saphrar> how so, Jennen?
<+Jennen> Traditional Honor.
<@Saphrar> ahh okay
<+Jennen> Today's atmosphere of toleration has muddied the waters quite a bit, but the tradition still remains.
<+Jennen> Yes, people have defined honor many different ways, but for Norman it was pretty simple.
<+Jennen> Live upright and true to the principles that make the best society and the best man.

Living Gor, Part I

The Gor books are works of fiction.  They were created in the mind of a man that teaches philosophy.  A lot of people have read the books.  Some of these people discovered that the way of life, the perspective on man written in the books appealed to them.  They found that the teachings and doings resonated within them.

So they decided to adopt these principles and practices into their own lives.  The understanding of the dominance of man, of the submission of women.  The purpose of men and the purpose of women and the way they relate to each other.  They sought to move beyond the boundaries placed on them by their experiences in life, the expectations that men should submit, should give up their own nature of strength and passion and aggression and become mild and soft and nurturing beings, that everyone "needs help" and that they should give it to them.  The expectations that women should be hard and fight the world and stand on their own in strength in opposition to men.  These expectations, these boundaries, they sought to leave behind.

In doing so, these people brought Gor out of a realm of fiction and made it real.  They made it a part of their very-real, day-to-day lives.  Not the planet, not the Kurii or the silver spaceships or the blue fire, but the self-perception, the self-awareness, the refusal to be unmanly or unwomanly.  The burning desire to be master of one's domain on one side, and surrender completely on the other.

The question is, where does the fiction stop, and the reality start?  For that matter, why couldn't someone immerse themselves in the fictional world and live just like the books?  Would it be bad to do so?  We all say, "Pshaw!" but it would be good to mention why, at least once.

To begin with, obviously, there is no Planet of Gor.  There are no silver spaceships, or tarns, or sleens, or blue fire.  As far as I know, there aren't intelligent monsters or alien forces trying to take over the world, or medicine that makes you young for a long time.

But the reason we don't exactly mirror the fictional Gor life in our own goes beyond that.  There are other things that are done in the books that it would be very bad to do for real, even though they are possible.  Murder in the streets, forced collaring, slave rape... Many of us know this intuitively, but haven't really taken the time to clarify the reasons why.  The reason is actually based on one of the biggest differences between the fictional society on Gor and real society in most of the civilized world.

In the books, humans have no inherent value.  A being's value is solely based on other's opinions of him.  If a Gorean character dies, the only loss is the value that others have in him.  If a slave is slain, then the only loss is whatever was paid for her, maybe a copper coin or two.  Thus it's not a big deal if someone dies.  And given that the death of someone is of so little consequence,  it's understandable that it's much less a deal if someone is lost to capture or raped.

That basic belief, so common in the books, is utterly false.  Each and every human being alive on this earth has innate, inherent value, completely separate from the view that others have of him or her.  The sanctity of the human soul is a basic tenet of human civilization, underlying the self-evident truths of the human being's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  When people "forget" that truth or decide to ignore it, horrible, insane, atrocious acts are committed.  Acts that are very accurately described as "inhuman".

Thus, we have to pull the Gorean paradigm from the false belief system in the books and reframe it around reality, with the basic understanding of inherent human value.  This understanding of human value places boundaries on the action of the individual that were not there in the fictional society of Gor in the books.  If an individual has an innate right to life, then if I take that life I am in deep violation of natural law.  If someone has an innate right to liberty, then if I enslave that person against their will, or rape her without her willing surrender, then I am in deep violation of natural law.  If I do collar a woman and take ownership of her (according to her own will and desire), it is BECAUSE I am providing her an opportunity to pursue happiness, which she and I both believe will be deeper and more intense within my collar that out of it.  If after I collar her I choose to place her in a lifestyle that is counterproductive to her happiness, then I am in violation of natural law.  Even though she becomes my property, she retains all these rights and her innate value, simply because they are a part of being human and she cannot become not-human (a discussion of inherent rights and value vs. complete surrender/property/ownership to come in another post).

This is why we do not kill, or rape, or kidnap, or force collar, or indiscriminately imprison people as is done in the books.  The hard-line border between fiction and reality in this area is the violation of the innate sanctity of human life and the natural laws associated with it.  Most of us instinctively understand these things.  Unfortunately, a few do not.

Beyond this, distinction between the fictional life in the books and reality becomes much more blurred.  Gor is not a religion, it's a philosophy.  Within those constraints listed above, people are allowed to align themselves as close to or far from that philosophy, as close as or as far from the practices in the books as they want.  A philosophy is a belief system, and the right to choose one's belief system according to one's conscience is a natural law.  Although we may believe that the Gor we have chosen to accept as our life paradigm is the true one, we cannot slight anyone else for picking and choosing, or modifying, or even completely rejecting our choice according to their own beliefs and perceptions.  Because of this, there are as many different perceptions of what Living Gor should be as there are people who love Gor.

On the flip side, neither can any one else slight me for deciding exactly what I believe is the right way to live, to pursue the Gorean philosophy, to practice the Gorean principles in my life.  My view may not be pleasant, it may not be nice, it may not be safe, but it is the way I see that the world works.  And it guides my choices and inspires me to be to strive to be better than the man that I am.

Next: My view of the Truth of Living Gor—Being a Man

Reality Gor

I was in a channel today and someone mentioned a recent decision to move IRC Gor to "Old Gor" which meant that uncollared slaves were not protected.  I gathered that this meant that any slave without a collar could be captured.

I was disappointed again.  This wasn't the Gor that I remembered from times past.  I rambled on a bit about the difference, and then when people started talking about IRC killing, I left.

All these things that people are talking about aren't what I remember.  I love Gor.  At least, I love the Gor I remember.  Back then, it was REAL.

When I first found Gor, it was in a channel with men and women who were seeking to apply the principles of the Gorean Philosophy in their lives (i.e. offline).  These men and women sought to associate with one another, and the forum they chose to use was a channel on IRC.  Back then it was DALNet.  These men put together a place where they could be themselves in more or less of a Gorean setting, where the vocabulary and the culture was common enough that they could enjoy interacting with each other and with the women in a predictable way.

It was fun!  To be among these men, to have these women at my feet, to enjoy the companionship of strong men, and the lust of willing women through the written word.  But more than fun, it was REAL.

No, I wasn't deluded into thinking that a woman was really at my feet serving me, nor was there actual leather contacting her when I whipped her in discipline.  It wasn't real that way.  It was real in that the men and women were the same online and off.

When I first discovered Gor, a man was expected to be a man, whether online or off.  He was expected to be strong, to understand his nature as a Free Person, and his value in relation to other free men and to women and to slaves.  He was expected to be mature, self-assured, and confident.  He was expected to not feel threatened when someone questioned him, because he was confident in his place.  There was no difference between online and offline expectations; a man was expected to be a man, to be the same man, online and off.  If I met a man offline, I would expect to be familiar with his habits and manner and expectations, because I experienced him online.  If a man didn't meet these expectations, he wasn't welcome among the group.  Back then, a lot of people were kicked out of the group, temporarily and permanently.

At that time, a slave would expect to kneel in my presence and subject herself to my whim were she ever to meet me offline, just like online.  She was a slave in her heart.  Even though most interaction for a slave was online, her lust was real.  Her fear was real.  Her commitment was real.  She had a very real understanding that if she wasn't pleasing, she could experience some very unpleasant consequences, and that she just might experience them anyway.  She understood that when she took a collar, she was giving her soul to another person to do with as he pleased.  She did it willingly, because she felt that her soul would be better off in his hands than in her own.  And if she didn't feel that, she didn't take the collar.

Back then, the men in the channel I loved swore fealty to a home stone.  A real home stone.  A rock, one that they found which they felt was worthy of the honor.  They literally pledged their honor and their lives to the protection of the home stone and their brothers.  And they meant it.  Offline.  For REAL.

The IRC Gor I experience now is, more often than not, a place for people to come to pretend to be different than who they are.  To play at being men.  To play at being slaves.  To put on the facade of bravado and machisimo, to imagine what it would be like to be a warrior or an assassin, to get their jollies with an available woman, who is often there just to get her jollies herself.  To imagine and play at what it would be like to serve a strong man, a warrior, to feel his lust for her.

What do these people do?  When they turn off the computer, do they go outside and see themselves as Gorean?  Do they engage other men and women as a Gorean?  Is the man strong, does he seek to be more strong?  Does he take accountability for his actions and for his domain?  Does the woman surrender, does she seek to deepen that surrender?  Does she seek to honor and please the men in her life, or does she expect them to treat her as an equal?

A Gorean man is noble.  However close to the earth or salty he is, whether he is honorable or not, whether he owns a slave or not, whether he carries a weapon or not.  He carries himself as a man of value.  Of value to his home, to his men, to his world.  Look at the men in the Silver Mines of Tharna.  As slaves they were petty, selfish animals with no vision of their nobility, of their incredible nature.  But when one called to that manhood within them, they left the pettiness behind and claimed their strength to break free from the bonds placed by the women on them, despite incredible barriers.  They were filthy and in rags before and after.  But when they became noble, they became men.  Despite the rags, despite the chains, despite the taskmasters.  They claimed their right.  And they earned it.  They were free because they were men.

A Gorean man doesn't need to pretend to be something else to impress others or attract attention.  It is adventure enough to be Gorean, to take on the world and fight to conquer first one's own domain, to fend off others, possibly even to build and grow one's domain.  There is more than enough adventure to go around.

What are you?  Are you a man or a slave?  Not online, not in chat rooms, not on IRC.  But in your heart?

It is a man's nature to be noble.  Any man can realize that nature.  The bar is high.  You must answer for yourself.  ARE you a Man of Gor?