Wednesday, July 28, 2010

What does it mean to "Be A Man?"

I was watching a movie the other day.  It featured two high school teams playing rugby.  I was struck by the difference between the attitudes of the two teams, and how they seemed to parallel the different perceptions of what it means to be a man.  Take a look at the clip for yourself.



As I watched the clip I thought about the difference between machisimo and masculine.  Here are some of the questions that went through my head.

In one scene, Rick from Flagstaff tries to manipulate the game.  His efforts to control were centered in an attempt to get the other team to fight.  He possibly wanted to throw the odds into the favor of his own team by having the huge guy from Highland sit out for part or all of the game.  Was he successful in controlling his opponents?

Did Highland's refusal to be drawn into a fight diminuish their masculinity?  The two players assaulted by Rick responded to his manipulation in creative ways that not only denied his attempts at control, but bolstered their own position.  The one who stuffed grass up his nose illustrated a man's passion to accomplish his objective even under significant personal sacrifice.  In doing so, he was able to control the referee (at least in part), convincing him to not make a call that would make it harder for them to achieve their objective.

Being Gorean is about control.  Control of one's self and one's environment; choosing one's own path and destiny.  In this rugby match, who is in control?  Who is out of control?  Which team had control of the game?  Which team had a better understanding of what type of control is effective, and what control is not?

In this clip, Rick is the captain of the Flagstaff team.  What are his methods of control over his team?  Over the bench?  Over his father, the coach?  Do his methods of control obtain the objective of the team: a win?  Do they obtain any of the objectives he has?

Each team was molded and formed under its coach.  How do the attitudes, perceptions, and choices of these two coaches compare?  Which coach was in control over his team?  Over his life?  Over his family?

In the end, the Highland team one the match because they were stronger, they were the superior team.  Rick, at least, from the Flagstaff team, was all talk and little walk.  The Highland team was not afraid to talk the talk, but they also walked the walk.  Rick had machisimo.  The Highland team was strong, was masculine.  They were becoming men.

That said, Rick wasn't all bad.  At least he was in the fray.  Many men sit on the sidelines.

The movie is Forever Strong.  It has quite a few insights into what strength really is.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Conversations: On The Gorean Man's Focus

Here's another conversation about Gorean Men.  Again, the background activity was removed to emphasize the point of the discussion.


<+Jennen> So what is the focus of a Gorean man offline?
<+Jennen> I think about the men in the books.  In the fact that they are true to themselves, they experience a greater sense of pleasure and fulfillment than those who don't live true to themselves.
<+Jennen> But their lives aren't filled with pleasure.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> The peasant's life is a hard one.  He works hard, he works his slaves hard.
<+Jennen> But his focus is still Gorean.
<+Jennen> To me, the focus of a Gorean man is to find the role that is true to himself, and move forward in that role, within the sphere of his influence.
<+Jennen> The men enjoyed the slaves, but they were not their focus.  Their focus was to do well in their role.
<+Jennen> A Warrior did not define himself by owning slaves.  He fought, he defended, he attacked.  This is what defined who he was.  This was his focus.
<+Jennen>  A builder did not define himself by owning slaves. He defined himself by feats of design and engineering.  This was his focus.
<+Jennen> Men are happier when they master their lives, as well as their women.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Now, I turn the magnifying glass on myself.
<+Jennen> How much time do I focus on my role as a man, and how much time do I focus on my slave?  How much time do I spend becoming better at what I do, mastering my life?  How much time do I spend with other men who have the same goals and understanding, working together with them as a group so that we can support each other?
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> There's a book I read, called, "Superior Man".  It talks about having friends that believe as you do, that you can talk with, who will challenge you to take life on and be true to yourself.
<+Jennen> I think that is possible here, online.  But it would mean that we would have to share our personal lives, our challenges, our struggles, and our victories.
<+Jennen> It would mean talking about our offline roles, learning from each other, weighing and accepting or rejecting advice.
<+Jennen> A "fraternity" is another word for a "brotherhood".  Those who belong to some fraternities work to support members of their fraternity all their lives.
<+Jennen> It's a source of loyalty for them.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Yes, a get together would be fun, and I think that those who participated would definitely enjoy it.  What I'm referring to, though, is more of an ongoing thing.  Talking, sharing, examining, asking, challenging other men.
<+Jennen> Regularly.
<+Jennen> A fellowship.
<+Jennen> That's a good name.
<+Jennen> A fellowship is something I would be very interested in being a part of.

Conversations: On The Gorean Man

Here's something while I work on my next post.

Here are some excerpts from a conversation I've enjoyed.  It shows my perspective on Gor and Gorean Men.  Most of what was going on in the background was removed to show the focus of the discussion.

Kudos to Saphrar for being Saphrar.

<@Saphrar> so Jennen
* @Saphrar grins
<@Saphrar> you proposed a topic last time you were here
<@Saphrar> If I recall, it was what qualifies a slave to be Gorean, or kajira... or something to that nature
* +Jennen nods
* +Jennen thinks
<@Saphrar> now I ask
<@Saphrar> what qualifies a man to be Gorean?
* +Jennen grins
* @Saphrar thought that would entice a grin
<@Saphrar> theres always the "I read the Books so therefore I am Gorean"
<+Jennen> That would depend, Saphrar, on whether you were talking about a Gorean man, or an honorable Gorean man.  There's a big difference between the two.
<@Saphrar> theres the "I own a slave r/l so therefore I am Gorean"
<@Saphrar> alright, then consider each in its own
<@Saphrar> often a dishonourable Gorean doesnt live long, so that may be a mute point?
* +Jennen laughs
<+Jennen> A Gorean has integrity, whether he has honor or not.
<+Jennen> He is what he is, inside and out.
<+Jennen> If he is a theif, he doesn't lie to himself and say he is a warrior.
<+Jennen> thief
<+Jennen> He says, I am a thief.
* @Saphrar nods
* +Jennen thinks
<@Saphrar> in your opinion is integrity the defining ingredient in Goreanism?
<+Jennen> A Gorean also extends his impact within his sphere of influence.  He does not cower when faced with an opponent.
<+Jennen> He will face up to the challenge.  He may back off if he realizes that he will lose.  But he will not cower.  He will pay honor and respect to the man that bests him.
* +Jennen thinks
<+Jennen> Lastly, a Gorean understands the relationship between men and women, and between slave and free, and behaves accordingly.
<+Jennen> A Gorean can have all these things, and be Gorean, but not have honor.
<@Saphrar> Port Kar of course is a written example
<+Jennen> Each of us chooses whom he or she will associate with.  Honorable Goreans typically choose to associate with honorable Goreans.
<@Saphrar> but... honour is still important for Goreans
<@Saphrar> I say honour is crucial for Goreans, even though it may not always exist
* +Jennen grins
<@Saphrar> it is said that a Gorean would much rather die for honour, than for gold, if I am correct?
<@Saphrar> I cant exactly recall the quote
<+Jennen> Each community has their own definition of honor.
<+Jennen> Honor to the executives of Enron would encompass just how much they could get away with.  The one who could get away with the most would hold the greatest honor among them.
* @Saphrar chuckles
* @Saphrar nods
<+Jennen> So, what is left is to define honor according to the standards I hold high, and then seek to associate with those who also hold that honor dear.
<+Jennen> Who have the same definition that I do.
* @Saphrar nods listening
<+Jennen> In the Books, that honor was well defined.
<+Jennen> An honorable Gorean is:
<+Jennen> loyal to Home Stone, to family, to caste.
<+Jennen> Honest and open, allowing for customary bribes and such.
<+Jennen> He follows through with his word, to the very best of his ability.
* @Saphrar nods
<+Jennen> He takes care of that which he calls his own.  His family, his property, etc.
<+Jennen> He is concerned with doing his job well.  Much more concerned with that than maximizing his income.
<+Jennen> Do you think we missed anything, Saphrar?
<@Saphrar> I think its something that can be debated for hours
<@Saphrar> Norman spent what, 26 novels trying to define it
<+Jennen> I don't know that I agree with that claim, Saphrar.
<+Jennen> I think it was pretty simple to him, and he wrote the books that way.
<@Saphrar> how so, Jennen?
<+Jennen> Traditional Honor.
<@Saphrar> ahh okay
<+Jennen> Today's atmosphere of toleration has muddied the waters quite a bit, but the tradition still remains.
<+Jennen> Yes, people have defined honor many different ways, but for Norman it was pretty simple.
<+Jennen> Live upright and true to the principles that make the best society and the best man.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Living Gor, Part I

The Gor books are works of fiction.  They were created in the mind of a man that teaches philosophy.  A lot of people have read the books.  Some of these people discovered that the way of life, the perspective on man written in the books appealed to them.  They found that the teachings and doings resonated within them.

So they decided to adopt these principles and practices into their own lives.  The understanding of the dominance of man, of the submission of women.  The purpose of men and the purpose of women and the way they relate to each other.  They sought to move beyond the boundaries placed on them by their experiences in life, the expectations that men should submit, should give up their own nature of strength and passion and aggression and become mild and soft and nurturing beings, that everyone "needs help" and that they should give it to them.  The expectations that women should be hard and fight the world and stand on their own in strength in opposition to men.  These expectations, these boundaries, they sought to leave behind.


In doing so, these people brought Gor out of a realm of fiction and made it real.  They made it a part of their very-real, day-to-day lives.  Not the planet, not the Kurii or the silver spaceships or the blue fire, but the self-perception, the self-awareness, the refusal to be unmanly or unwomanly.  The burning desire to be master of one's domain on one side, and surrender completely on the other.

The question is, where does the fiction stop, and the reality start?  For that matter, why couldn't someone immerse themselves in the fictional world and live just like the books?  Would it be bad to do so?  We all say, "Pshaw!" but it would be good to mention why, at least once.

To begin with, obviously, there is no Planet of Gor.  There are no silver spaceships, or tarns, or sleens, or blue fire.  As far as I know, there aren't intelligent monsters or alien forces trying to take over the world, or medicine that makes you young for a long time.

But the reason we don't exactly mirror the fictional Gor life in our own goes beyond that.  There are other things that are done in the books that it would be very bad to do for real, even though they are possible.  Murder in the streets, forced collaring, slave rape... Many of us know this intuitively, but haven't really taken the time to clarify the reasons why.  The reason is actually based on one of the biggest differences between the fictional society on Gor and real society in most of the civilized world.

In the books, humans have no inherent value.  A being's value is solely based on other's opinions of him.  If a Gorean character dies, the only loss is the value that others have in him.  If a slave is slain, then the only loss is whatever was paid for her, maybe a copper coin or two.  Thus it's not a big deal if someone dies.  And given that the death of someone is of so little consequence,  it's understandable that it's much less a deal if someone is lost to capture or raped.

That basic belief, so common in the books, is utterly false.  Each and every human being alive on this earth has innate, inherent value, completely separate from the view that others have of him or her.  The sanctity of the human soul is a basic tenet of human civilization, underlying the self-evident truths of the human being's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  When people "forget" that truth or decide to ignore it, horrible, insane, atrocious acts are committed.  Acts that are very accurately described as "inhuman".

Thus, we have to pull the Gorean paradigm from the false belief system in the books and reframe it around reality, with the basic understanding of inherent human value.  This understanding of human value places boundaries on the action of the individual that were not there in the fictional society of Gor in the books.  If an individual has an innate right to life, then if I take that life I am in deep violation of natural law.  If someone has an innate right to liberty, then if I enslave that person against their will, or rape her without her willing surrender, then I am in deep violation of natural law.  If I do collar a woman and take ownership of her (according to her own will and desire), it is BECAUSE I am providing her an opportunity to pursue happiness, which she and I both believe will be deeper and more intense within my collar that out of it.  If after I collar her I choose to place her in a lifestyle that is counterproductive to her happiness, then I am in violation of natural law.  Even though she becomes my property, she retains all these rights and her innate value, simply because they are a part of being human and she cannot become not-human (a discussion of inherent rights and value vs. complete surrender/property/ownership to come in another post).

This is why we do not kill, or rape, or kidnap, or force collar, or indiscriminately imprison people as is done in the books.  The hard-line border between fiction and reality in this area is the violation of the innate sanctity of human life and the natural laws associated with it.  Most of us instinctively understand these things.  Unfortunately, a few do not.

Beyond this, distinction between the fictional life in the books and reality becomes much more blurred.  Gor is not a religion, it's a philosophy.  Within those constraints listed above, people are allowed to align themselves as close to or far from that philosophy, as close as or as far from the practices in the books as they want.  A philosophy is a belief system, and the right to choose one's belief system according to one's conscience is a natural law.  Although we may believe that the Gor we have chosen to accept as our life paradigm is the true one, we cannot slight anyone else for picking and choosing, or modifying, or even completely rejecting our choice according to their own beliefs and perceptions.  Because of this, there are as many different perceptions of what Living Gor should be as there are people who love Gor.

On the flip side, neither can any one else slight me for deciding exactly what I believe is the right way to live, to pursue the Gorean philosophy, to practice the Gorean principles in my life.  My view may not be pleasant, it may not be nice, it may not be safe, but it is the way I see that the world works.  And it guides my choices and inspires me to be to strive to be better than the man that I am.

Next: My view of the Truth of Living Gor—Being a Man

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Reality Gor

I was in a channel today and someone mentioned a recent decision to move IRC Gor to "Old Gor" which meant that uncollared slaves were not protected.  I gathered that this meant that any slave without a collar could be captured.

I was disappointed again.  This wasn't the Gor that I remembered from times past.  I rambled on a bit about the difference, and then when people started talking about IRC killing, I left.

All these things that people are talking about aren't what I remember.  I love Gor.  At least, I love the Gor I remember.  Back then, it was REAL.

When I first found Gor, it was in a channel with men and women who were seeking to apply the principles of the Gorean Philosophy in their lives (i.e. offline).  These men and women sought to associate with one another, and the forum they chose to use was a channel on IRC.  Back then it was DALNet.  These men put together a place where they could be themselves in more or less of a Gorean setting, where the vocabulary and the culture was common enough that they could enjoy interacting with each other and with the women in a predictable way.

It was fun!  To be among these men, to have these women at my feet, to enjoy the companionship of strong men, and the lust of willing women through the written word.  But more than fun, it was REAL.

No, I wasn't deluded into thinking that a woman was really at my feet serving me, nor was there actual leather contacting her when I whipped her in discipline.  It wasn't real that way.  It was real in that the men and women were the same online and off.

When I first discovered Gor, a man was expected to be a man, whether online or off.  He was expected to be strong, to understand his nature as a Free Person, and his value in relation to other free men and to women and to slaves.  He was expected to be mature, self-assured, and confident.  He was expected to not feel threatened when someone questioned him, because he was confident in his place.  There was no difference between online and offline expectations; a man was expected to be a man, to be the same man, online and off.  If I met a man offline, I would expect to be familiar with his habits and manner and expectations, because I experienced him online.  If a man didn't meet these expectations, he wasn't welcome among the group.  Back then, a lot of people were kicked out of the group, temporarily and permanently.

At that time, a slave would expect to kneel in my presence and subject herself to my whim were she ever to meet me offline, just like online.  She was a slave in her heart.  Even though most interaction for a slave was online, her lust was real.  Her fear was real.  Her commitment was real.  She had a very real understanding that if she wasn't pleasing, she could experience some very unpleasant consequences, and that she just might experience them anyway.  She understood that when she took a collar, she was giving her soul to another person to do with as he pleased.  She did it willingly, because she felt that her soul would be better off in his hands than in her own.  And if she didn't feel that, she didn't take the collar.

Back then, the men in the channel I loved swore fealty to a home stone.  A real home stone.  A rock, one that they found which they felt was worthy of the honor.  They literally pledged their honor and their lives to the protection of the home stone and their brothers.  And they meant it.  Offline.  For REAL.

The IRC Gor I experience now is, more often than not, a place for people to come to pretend to be different than who they are.  To play at being men.  To play at being slaves.  To put on the facade of bravado and machisimo, to imagine what it would be like to be a warrior or an assassin, to get their jollies with an available woman, who is often there just to get her jollies herself.  To imagine and play at what it would be like to serve a strong man, a warrior, to feel his lust for her.

What do these people do?  When they turn off the computer, do they go outside and see themselves as Gorean?  Do they engage other men and women as a Gorean?  Is the man strong, does he seek to be more strong?  Does he take accountability for his actions and for his domain?  Does the woman surrender, does she seek to deepen that surrender?  Does she seek to honor and please the men in her life, or does she expect them to treat her as an equal?

A Gorean man is noble.  However close to the earth or salty he is, whether he is honorable or not, whether he owns a slave or not, whether he carries a weapon or not.  He carries himself as a man of value.  Of value to his home, to his men, to his world.  Look at the men in the Silver Mines of Tharna.  As slaves they were petty, selfish animals with no vision of their nobility, of their incredible nature.  But when one called to that manhood within them, they left the pettiness behind and claimed their strength to break free from the bonds placed by the women on them, despite incredible barriers.  They were filthy and in rags before and after.  But when they became noble, they became men.  Despite the rags, despite the chains, despite the taskmasters.  They claimed their right.  And they earned it.  They were free because they were men.

A Gorean man doesn't need to pretend to be something else to impress others or attract attention.  It is adventure enough to be Gorean, to take on the world and fight to conquer first one's own domain, to fend off others, possibly even to build and grow one's domain.  There is more than enough adventure to go around.

What are you?  Are you a man or a slave?  Not online, not in chat rooms, not on IRC.  But in your heart?

It is a man's nature to be noble.  Any man can realize that nature.  The bar is high.  You must answer for yourself.  ARE you a Man of Gor?