Short Visits

Here is another bit I wrote for the website of #The_Golden_Goblet, where I have been spending time as an Op.  Again, this is still personal, and has not been made official.  It reflects my personal ideal of Gorean involvement on IRC, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of the owners of the channel.

It's amazing how some people go out of their way to make sure that their visits to #The_Golden_Goblet are brief. Their behavior, their choices, their words just scream, "I don't belong here! Get me out of here!" From the amount of effort they put into earning a kick and often a ban from the channel, it would seem to be a favorite pastime. Focused as we are on making the experience as fulfilling as possible for our patrons, we've decided to put together a list to help these people get what's coming to them as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, we don't have rules for the Free that you can break. Our Ops have the latitude to kick or ban whomever they wish to, whenever they want, for whatever reason. In fact, they occasionally kick each other, just to stay in practice. However, here are some of the most effective ways to shorten your stay at #The_Golden_Goblet:

• Be fake. Make up a character that you adopt when you come onto IRC, and that you leave behind when you log off; be "online only". Have your online character make choices and do things that you would never do in real life. Kill people. Force collars on slaves. Describe yourself and your offline world in ways that aren't accurate. Say things that aren't true about yourself, your life, your history, or about other people.
• Treat Gor like a game. Trivialize the practices, the paradigms, the traditions of the people of Gor. Make snide comments about tarns and John Norman and paga serves, about what a man or a master or a slave is. Turn your connection to Gor on and off as it is convenient. Don't recognize the difference between having fun and mocking.
• Expect us to not judge you. Expect us to like you. Expect us to care, even though you're a stranger. Expect that we'll take you in, embrace you as a brother, and spill our guts to you before you've won the privilege. Expect us to change so that you aren't offended, or for your convenience. Get upset when we ignore you.
• Don't listen, don't learn. Enter into our space without taking the time to learn our traditions and expectations, or without caring about them. Talk without taking time to comprehend. Debate without taking time to consider. Tell us we're right or wrong without taking the time to understand us. Be interested solely in spending time with the slaves in the alcoves.
• Be a wimp or a coward. Don't stand behind your own opinions. Back off and even run when someone disagrees with you or attacks you or your position. Don't stand up for your beliefs. Insult people to avoid losing or even engaging. Be afraid to ask questions, to be imperfect, to have emotions. Patronize us. Be scared that we won't like you. Don't hold the slaves accountable. Be scared they won't like you. Worry about offending them. Let them manipulate you and tell you what to do, apologize to them. Be reluctant to say "No."
• Do things that make people's lives miserable. Be a pedophile, be abusive, be involved with drug abuse, be in IRC channels that promote these things. Be a gossip. Stalk people. Violate people's privacy or their online or offline boundaries.
• Be unable to communicate at an acceptable level. Don't speak English. Don't know how to use the basic functions of IRC. Likewise, don't follow the basic etiquette and protocol of IRC. Come to us to help you figure out technical problems that are disrupting the channel.

You're right. It does sounds like a lot of work. But each of these is a powerful tool that can drastically shorten your stay in #The_Golden_Goblet. Frankly, when you do these things we enjoy keeping your stay short just as much as you do. We hate it when our boots get dusty, and kicking patrons is a fun and exciting way to keep them clean. To keep the record straight, we'll usually let you know the reason when we kick you. Repeating that particular behavior when you return will almost guarantee you an even quicker exit, and possibly even earn you that treasured trophy, a ban.

Those of you who prefer a longer stay, however, will find that coming in, sitting back, listening and watching and learning will be key to prolonging your stay. If you find that the Gor we live appeals to you, spend some time reading the books. Read from the website. Ask a few questions. Start looking at your nature as a man, and how true you live to that nature. Spend some more time reading the books. Start living the things you're learning. Do this earnestly, and over time you may just possibly discover a friend or two among the patrons and Ops here.

Penned by Jennen